It's Really Over.

Forgive my absence the past few days, I've been catching up on some much needed sleep.

The semester came and went without much to speak about. I survived, though barely, in some aspects. I suppose the best I have to offer is that I'm still here, trudging down the vet school path. Now for the battle damage breakdown:

Through some serious kindness and curving on behalf of my Gross Anatomy professor, I managed to come out with a C+. Which, might I mention, is the first C that I've ever gotten for a class in my entire life though I take it gratefully and with more joy than I've taken better grades. Through some miracle, I managed to pull a B out of Physiology by getting a 105 on the final. I'm just not going to ask questions. It's better that way.

On Thursday, I got an email from my Bacteriology teacher telling me that he curved the grades a bit more to make the class average an 84, and it pushed me from a B+ to an A in the class. I hope my downstairs neighbor isn't too angry at me for jumping up and down and screaming so loudly for an hour. ^-~

I came out with A's in C.C.E. and Physical Diagnosis, proving for good that I'm fantastic at bullshitting and recognizing cows.

The Microanatomy final was rough, at best. It pulled down everyone's final grade in the class, so my A went to a B. I also came out with a B+ in Immunology though it was the very last final, and I was running on caffeine and hope. So, I'm happy to take it.

So, I made it! 11.1% or 1/9th of a veterinarian, at your service! It was much harder than I ever imagined that vet school would be. At times, I wanted nothing more than to run, screaming out of my window. I was afraid I wouldn't make it, but this semester showed me that sometimes incredibly impossible things happen. I'm very fortunate, to say the very least.

NOW LET'S GET TO CHRISTMAS BREAK, PEEPS!

I'm Just Hypersensitive About This, Okay!?

Only one more final left in Finals Week 2010. It's been horrible, grueling, disheartening, but I fought the good fight, regardless. Tomorrow's stab about my intelligence is Immunology. I've been studying all day, but cannot seem to focus correctly. I must admit, I am incredibly exhausted. To say that I lack the enthusiasm to go on would be an understatement. Vet school does that to you. While I know that they want us all to graduate, I feel like there's constantly a laser from a sniper rifle pointed straight at my forehead. I think that's why so many people in medical professions suffer nervous breakdowns. You're put in a place where everything is at odds with you. Usually, you don't have time to sleep, eating becomes a chore, and you lose social contacts because by the time you can talk to them you are exhausted and lack the verbal command to carry on a conversation. And, then, there's finals week which usually consists of 6-9 finals, all in varying degrees of "I'll just jump out the window" difficulty. You spend all your time focusing on your biggest problem class and get to a class that would have been easy to Ace, had you had more than a night or a few hours to study for it.

Regardless, in 8 short hours, my first semester is turning the final corner in its race to the finish line, and I think that I've been riding this pony long enough.

The Final Countdown: 1 DAY!!

Thursday: Immunology Final
Friday-January sometime: Sleep!!!!!!!

Weighing the Options

I spent most of tonight writing up an extra credit paper for Physiology...that I couldn't find the answer for. So, after 3 hours of research, I said "Screw you, physio!" and started studying again.

Tomorrow, I have my Physical Diagnosis Final which shouldn't be terrible, but there are only about 100 points total in that class, so you miss one question and you're on a one-way ticket to "I'm an idiot"-ville.

"Oh. You can't tell that my Lakeland Terrier isn't an Irish Terrier? Obviously, I value your medical knowledge significantly less now."

-_-

Example below:

Lakeland Terrier=


Irish Terrier=


The test also includes birds. And, with that, I leave you with possibly the most horrifying image I can give you for today.



In case having the knowledge of what this is makes you feel better, this is showing a doctor performing vent sexing on a Rattite type of bird. Feel better? I didn't think so.

The Final Countdown: 2 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday: P.D. Final (New Zero Punctuation episode... Check it out!!!!)
Thursday: Immunology Final
Friday-January sometime: Sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unequivocal Joy.

I could miss 13 questions on today's Gross Anatomy exam and still pass the class with a C. Today, I missed exactly 13 questions (12 as I discovered later because a question was thrown out). So, everyone who has been praying/blessing/hoping/wishing/good-lucking/thinking of me, THANKS SO MUCH! WE DID IT!

This joy so overshadows the fact that I have a microanatomy final tomorrow that I have barely even looked at, and I haven't slept more than 2-3 hours a night for a while now. *happy sigh*

3 more finals to go, and I'm home free. On Thursday, my boyfriend's coming up to spend a few days with me and go to Mecha's graduation, and then, Saturday after the graduation, I'm headed home to spend some quality time with my family, my animals, and sleep! <3

The Final Countdown: 3 DAYS!!!!!!

Tuesday: Microanatomy Final
Wednesday: P.D. Final
Thursday: Immunology Final
Friday- January 9-10thish: SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why Am I Here, Again?

It's times like these when I start to question the real reason that I am in vet school. When it seems that I pour out everything I can possibly give, when I am past the point of exhaustion, when I can't even remember why I signed up to give away my life like I have. Sometimes, it helps me to take a breath and remember all the reasons that I do what I do. So, here they are:

For the animals...
My constant friends and companions regardless of what I do, what I say, or what I am. To them, I owe my gratitude and to them, I pay my debt.





(That's Dexter, my corgi, by the way. <3)

For my family...
They provided me with the best life possible, helping me through school, pushing me to do my best, and letting me know that if I wanted to be something, I could be it. They helped mold me into the person I am, and I am insurmountably thankful to them. I will get through vet school to prove that they were right to believe in me.














For my friends...

Who have all given me gratuitous amounts of joy. I laugh so often in laugh, and I can't help but think that all of them are part of the reason. Always there to cheer me up, cheer me on, and go on a crazy, wonderful adventure.







For my boyfriend...
Who has been part of the best 4 and 1/2 years of my life. He gives me hope when I lose it, hugs when I need them, and can always find a way to put a smile back on my face. I hope to spend the rest of my life with you. I do this for our future.







Lastly, for myself...
I've worked really hard to get here. Even in the times that I wonder why I ever decided to go through this, I know that it is with love and purpose that I pursue this quest. While giving up seems easy, it undermines everything I have struggled for and all the people who have struggled along with me.








And so, I continue to struggle onwards in hopes to someday become a veterinarian. It's hard, ridiculously impossible, at times, but without struggle, the final prize seems pointless. It's heartbreaking sometimes, all things worth keeping are, though. Without pain, there is no joy. Without the night to stifle the day, what does the light mean, afterall.

Organic Chemistry came and went. And so, too, Gross Anatomy will come and go. I will look back on it as a vet and laugh the laugh of the those looking back on a horrible time in their life and knowing they have conquered it. The strength that dwells within us is substantial, and we are all beautiful, strong, and amazing. The only limitation on us is the doubt we find in ourselves.

The Final Countdown: 5 DAYS!!!!!

Sunday: Study butt off for Gross Anatomy....
Monday: Gross Anatomy Final (T_T) (A.K.A.- D Day!!)
Tuesday: Microscopic Anatomy Final (Also, online C.C.E. Final is due.)
Wednesday: Physical Diagnosis Final
Thursday: Immunology Final
Friday-January 9thish= SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!

Clinically Blonde?

So, after a long day of studying anatomy and feeling rather dejected, I was delighted to find that Legally Blonde was on TBS tonight. I know it may seem rather silly, but it's always been one of my favorite movies. Something about it always makes me feel so good about everything. I guess I've always found myself to be an outsider. I've always been different and strange. I've never really fit in anywhere, not in high school, not in undergrad, and, to a certain extent, not in vet school. I'm just different. It's not a bad thing, by any means. It's something I've always appreciated and acknowledged openly. Sometimes, I think we let ourselves fall into the trap of hating how different we are from everyone else. I know that I do, anyway.

Like Elle conquered law school, at first being irrationally different from everyone else in her class, I know that I can conquer vet school. I may be off the wall at times. My zombie converses and cartoon tshirts might seem a little unorthodox as professional attire, but, in the end, I have a passion and drive for what I'm doing. This semester, my biggest struggle has been against Gross Anatomy. I have nightmares about it when I'm not studying it, actually. However, I want with all my heart to care for the medical needs of animals, and I always have. I just hope that I can do well enough on my exam on Monday to prove that.



The Final Countdown:
Sunday: Study ass off for anatomy....T_T
Monday: Gross Anatomy Final (T_T) (A.K.A.- D Day!!)
Tuesday: Microscopic Anatomy Final (Also, online C.C.E. Final is due.)
Wednesday: Physical Diagnosis Final
Thursday: Immunology Final
Friday-January 9thish= SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!

So Close, Yet So Very Far...

I ended up with a B+ in Bacteriology. Yes, I know that is very good, but the thing that bugs me so much about it is the fact that I was .7 points away from having an A in the darn thing. Grrrrrrr!!!!!!!

I don't know much about the Physio final besides knowing that I passed it which is good enough with me.

Now, if I can just pass Gross Anatomy, I'll be in business and everything else will be downhill from there.

Saturday: Study ass off for Gross Anatomy.
Sunday: Ditto Above.
Monday: Gross Anatomy Final (T_T) (A.K.A.- D Day!!)
Tuesday: Microscopic Anatomy Final (Also, online C.C.E. Final is due.)
Wednesday: Physical Diagnosis Final
Thursday: Immunology Final
Friday-January 9thish= SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tea and Cookies: The Study Fuel of Champions

One final down. One very impossible, illogical, fallible, hard-hitting final down. Oh well. You can't win all your battles.

Now to start studying for the Physiology exam tomorrow...

Official Countdown to Christmas Break: 7 DAYS!!

Friday: Physiology Final
Saturday: Study ass off for Gross Anatomy.
Sunday: Ditto Above.
Monday: Gross Anatomy Final (T_T) (A.K.A.- D Day!!)
Tuesday: Microscopic Anatomy Final (Also, online C.C.E. Final is due.)
Wednesday: Physical Diagnosis Final
Thursday: Immunology Final
Friday-January 9thish= SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!

MOYASHIMON!

I'm knee-deep in bacteriology review material for my first final tomorrow: Bacteriology. Though I would rather be studying for Gross Anatomy as that is the only class that I may possible get a D in and therefore have to go before the academic review board so that they may scold me and possibly kick me out of vet school, I can't just forgo bacteriology. For some reason, very much unknown to myself, Bacteriology is the only class that I'm doing above average in. This is so strange because Bacteriology is the class that most students notoriously fail in. The averages on each of his tests have been in the D-F range. I'm not really sure why I'm doing better in there than most of the class, but I really want to keep that going. I'm average or below average in all of the other classes. Physiology? Class has been averaging high B's on the tests. Me? I've got a mid-range C. Immunology average has been in the As. Me? I have a B. It's been rather disheartening to say the least, but in bacteriology, I get to be above average. I don't want to let my professor or me down by shunning studying for it to study for anatomy. So, after tomorrows exam, I will enter deep, deep into the realms of studying for anatomy on Monday, giving some time, of course, to study for the Physio exam on Friday. I'm just reluctant to give it too much time because I'm middle of the road C right now, and I'd have to make a high A on the final to pull the grade up to a B. I haven't made above a low B on any of the exams in that class, so it seems rather fruitless as I could make a 50 on the final and still have a C in the class.

Well, that's my school rant for now. I'll go back to Bacteriology again. Keep me in your prayers. I'm going to need it.

Official Countdown to Christmas Break: 8 DAYS!!
Thursday: Bacteriology Final
Friday: Physiology Final
Saturday: Study ass off for Gross Anatomy.
Sunday: Ditto Above.
Monday: Gross Anatomy Final (T_T) (A.K.A.- D Day!!)
Tuesday: Microscopic Anatomy Final (Also, online C.C.E. Final is due.)
Wednesday: Physical Diagnosis Final
Thursday: Immunology Final
Friday-January 9thish= SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!